Bismillah I Can Survive, Thank You "The Sad Ending" (English Version)

                                                                 A story by Kiki

                            Bismillah I can survive, thank you "the sad ending" (English Version)

    Day by day I learn everything about the life that I am currently living, trying to divide my time to learn to understand many things, then I will practice them. In addition, there are many things that I need to prepare to continue learning many things, one of which is reading books about life in the world and the hereafter to improve the quality of my life to be much better so that I can be close to Allah. Sometimes, as humans, we forget that we belong to Allah forever; then, we arbitrarily do bad things that result in forgetting that there is Allah who is always with us.

    On the other hand, one of the things I have to learn is about romantic relationships that have always failed because of many things, and one of the many things is being bullied for being fat, and having lots of acne. It is indeed sad, but this is a form of Allah protection for me so that I don't get carried away for too long. Maybe this is also something dangerous for me, that's why it never lasts. In addition, the relationship that just ended that I experienced was him leaving me secretly and making me his second. This is very painful, and this is the first in my life. It is very hard for me to feel, but if I think back to learning about life as a human being, I must be able to accept pain and sadness. Then, behind that there is a valuable lesson that I get, which is how I learn to be a strong woman, trying to be close to Allah, trying to be aware that loving humans too much is not good because it can make Allah jealous of us, and lastly, forgetting Allah great love for us.

    Then, I realized that I would learn many more things because about relationships it is important how we build good relationships so that we can continue to try to be much better than before because I have to remember that this world is hard for me who tries to be patient and tries to forgive anyone who hurts then this self will also always try to learn to be aware of myself not to hurt others even to Allah Almighty. In fact, I also need support to continue to improve because I am the first child who needs full support because I do not have the oldest sibling in my life so I have to be independent.

    From now on, I choose to walk away from the relationship then I will learn all the stories that I experienced and I will remember all the good and bad memories and all the shame I will cover tightly. I have to let this all finish neatly because this is the saddest moment in my life history regarding the relationship that I used to experience. I let him go with his choice and I let him go wherever he wants because this is his right and I can't forbid him. I choose to love myself for now because he gave me a sign that I was forced to stay away from him because there was someone else, maybe this is also a form of Allah protection for me where I have to be aware and take many lessons that I can learn. I actually don't want to but because he forced me to go then I will do it and this is one of the best destinies that God wrote for me how I should be able to accept when I am with him I am happy and when I leave him I am sad so it must be fair happiness and sadness must be accepted well because this is the flow of my life that has been arranged then I have to believe that after this passes I will be fine again even though I go through it slowly but I have to be able to do everything for the sake of mental health. Then I have to try as much as possible to enjoy whatever sadness and happiness befalls me so that I can grow into a patient person as Allah says in Q.S Ali Imran verse 146 "Allah loves those who are patient" with this I have to be aware as a woman.

    In addition, I must be able to survive with all the sadness and happiness that Allah gives then I must often pray for stability of heart to always remember that after sadness there will definitely be happiness and so on. I will leave him and find something that makes me comfortable (trying to be close to Allah again so that I am comfortable) I have not thought about the replacement, let Allah act as is good because all my destiny is good. Through this writing I realize that I pour out everything that I can tell and share this is a sedative for me, maybe there are people who read it can learn from it too because in each of our stories there must be people who learn from our experiences as well as myself to others. Let me go far if later we meet, hopefully we will return with the best version because it is very easy for Allah to change a situation.